Cannes fashion week: the good, the terrible, and the downright bizarre

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Because there were so few red carpets to walk on this past year, celebrities and the world’s sharpest-elbowed influencers flocked to the “tapis rouge” at the Cannes film festival to show off their skills.

Even the absence of Lea Seydoux, who was forced to withdraw due to a last-minute bout of Covid, could not detract from the overall glitz.

Cannes fashion week: the good, the terrible, and the downright bizarre
Cannes fashion week: the good, the terrible, and the downright bizarre

An exceptional set of lungs

It was hard to take a breath after seeing Bella Hadid in her Schiaparelli “lungs” dress, in which the bust was replaced by two sculpted gold bronchial branches that enveloped her breasts.

In keeping with his reputation as the most daring designer in couture, Daniel Roseberry stated that he wanted to honor the lungs as Europe begins to breathe again following the Covid disaster.

Some were concerned that Hadid might meet her demise as a result of it.

They thought Hadid’s lungs appeared like they had been flipped inside out and dipped in gold, but their perceptions were incorrect.

The American supermodel also went all out with a black scarf bodice by Jean Paul Gaultier, showing for the second time in two days that you don’t need a bust to wear a bustier.

– Spike really knows what he’s talking about –

Some might wonder if Spike Lee, who serves on the Cannes jury, did the right thing by offering festival postcards for sale on his website for $100, but there was no denying his sense of style, even as he wore Nikes with his own face printed on the bottoms.

At 63, he’s still got it, grabbing the attention of every photographer on the Croisette in a fuchsia Louis Vuitton zoot suit and matching sunglasses.

Also, a shout-out to his berets for every occasion, which ranges from the Black Panther to the Bastille Day French tricolor to the Jean-Paul Sartre chin-stroker (shown).

Tilda is really adorable.

While Bella and Spike were known for their snark, Tilda Swinton is known for her class. As she described it, she was “everywhere” in Cannes, where she appeared in five films while bringing her White Duke androgynous flair to some great “clothes that my friends designed for me,” as she put it.

Loewe’s Jonathan Anderson produced a white apostolic robe for her “Memoria” press appearance, which was decorated with feathers in the colors of Colombia, where the film was shot. Jonathan Anderson is her favorite designer.

On behalf of her spaniels, she accepted the Palm Dog Award for finest canine performance at the Cannes Film Festival, which took her ten minutes, 400 meters, and a costume change.

Every gender and none of them wobbled when the crimson collar was placed around her neck and over her shoulders.

Her dogs appear in both of the critically acclaimed “Souvenir” films directed by British director Joanna Hogg, with her and her daughter Honor.

Honor even went so far as to raid her mother’s wardrobe, which must have been the size of Andorra, for old clothing for the film.

Tears from the Stone

Sharon Stone sobbed uncontrollably in Cannes. And we can’t say we blame her for her actions. At the festival, the hero of “Basic Instinct,” known for his wit and intelligence, was awarded one of France’s greatest cultural honors, the Grand Prix du Festival de Cannes.

Neither could her Dolce & Gabbana gown, which left her appearing like she had been pulled backward through a rose bush in a fishing net, which couldn’t have helped the situation.

Grey power

Andie MacDowell, star of the television series “Notting Hill,” may no longer be a household name, but she demonstrated that older actresses can still shine by flaunting her stunning grey hair.

With her magnificent mane, the American attracted a lot of attention on the first night of the show.

According to the popular #SilverSisters hashtag, she appeared to be very stunning.

On the same night, “Annette” director Leos Carax appeared in a suit that appeared to have been taken from one of the Croisette’s less well-dressed tramps, which seemed to be a fitting tribute to the character.

Icarus in a dress

In a more spectacular failure, German influencer Leonie Hanne spent an eternity flapping her butterfly sleeves in a fruitless attempt to outdo the Wright brothers (or to grab the attention of the cameras) at Matt Damon’s “Stillwater” premiere, where she failed miserably.

She tripped on the carpet as soon as she realized she couldn’t make the flight.